I Poked The Wedding Cake

Wedding CakeWeddings are great.  We get to come together and celebrate the union of two people.  We get to see friends and family that we haven’t seen in a while and we get to meet new and exciting people.  Photographs are taken and memories are made that will last a lifetime.  Some of those memories though are a tad bit embarrassing…

I’d actually considered not creating this post… but then I said screw it.  It happened and I can’t change it.  What is it?  Well let me tell you.  Typically the bride and groom get the first taste of their wedding cake.  The wife and I went to a wedding a couple of weeks back and I can tell you that in THIS case tradition was broken… that’s cause ol Chewie here had the first taste… quite by accident.

It was an out of town wedding so rather than try to pack a place setting, glasses or other gift we decided to go with a check.  It’s compact and everyone like cash right?  So it was my job to hold the envelope containing card and check until after the cocktail hour when I would drop it off at the gift table.  I managed to go about 15 minutes before I was relieved of my envelope holding duties due to a ranch dressing incident.  Sidenote – it’s REALLY difficult to hold a drink, a plate AND and envelope all while carrying on a conversation.

After cocktail hour was over we made our way into the main ballroom where the reception would take place.  The wife decided that I couldn’t POSSIBLY mess up the task of placing the card on a table so she confidently handed it back to me with specific instructions to head over to the table and take care of it.  Just as I was about to head over I was informed by someone sitting at my table that there was a fake “cake” where we could drop envelopes.  Sweet… I had marching orders.

I made my way over to the cake ready to successfully complete my mission of dropping off my ranch covered envelope… but what’s this?  The cake is right in the middle of the dance floor!  Hmm… that’s not where I was told it would be.  Never fear… I figured I was just given some misinformation and the card gathering cake was set right here so people wouldn’t miss it – boy is that convenient! As I’m looking at the cake I can’t for the life of me figure out where the card slot is.  I’m looking on the top, on the back, front sides, etc.  Houston – we have a problem. On top of that this is the most realistic looking card cake I’ve ever seen.  I mean it looks REALLY real.  I mean… it’s even got icing on it.  That can’t be real icing can it?  Why would someone put real icing on a card cake?

So I did what anyone would do when looking at a card cake that looked like it had icing on it… I reached out and touched it.

Dammit… real icing.
Dammit… that’s the real cake.
Dammit… I’m in the middle of the dance floor with my finger in the cake.
Dammit… my wife and the people at my table are doubled over laughing.
Dammit… I’m “that guy” that just put my finger in the wedding cake.
Dammit… there’s another card cake over there on that table.

At this point I nonchalantly  walk over to the “real” card cake, drop my envelope in the slot and make my way back to my table where the wife has tears in her eyes cause she’s laughing so hard.  It makes me happy to know that after 11 years of marriage I can still make my baby doll laugh.

B & C – I had a great time at your wedding.  Thanks for inviting me.  From now on I’ll just put the check in the mail 😉

PS – for those of you that are wondering – YES, that is a picture of the actual cake.

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4 Comments

  1. Oh, good times. Reliving it through your post was almost as good as when it happens. But it all fairness, what can they expect from us guys? I think Melissa and I will put yellow caution tape around the real one till its time.

  2. Probably a good idea brother…

  3. So this is the reason for the finger mark! This is a funny story and I’m glad I got to read it.

  4. Chad – thanks for not being mad! We had a great time – so glad we were able to make it.

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