Caught In A Drunk Canadian’s Loop

Cleveland Indians Opening Day 2012As I do just about every year, last week I attended Opening Day for my beloved Cleveland Indians.  I managed to take one picture as I walked into the stadium.  If you’d like to see more, check out my post from last year.  Our seats were essentially the same and with the exception of Pip, so were the people.

Once again, the Tribe managed to lose the opener, but this year they did it in stunning fashion by giving up a 3 run lead in the 9th inning and then stringing the fans on until the 16th when they finally gave up 3 runs of their own.  Couple that longest opening day in history with the fact that it was cold as hell (after all it IS April in Cleveland) and as you can imagine the bars were a bit crowded.

We managed to stick it out at the game until about the 13th inning, but we finally gave in and headed over to Panini’s to watch the rest of the game.  Apparently I’ve got the look of someone who likes to drink shots, cause I had 2 random dudes (yeah… dudes no less…. this player’s got GAME!!!) who wanted me to do a shot.  But I digress.

So we’re in the bottom of the 15th and some drunk Canadian dude (the Indians were playing Toronto) rolls up and starts chatting me up about how awesome of a game it is, how much he likes Cleveland and how the last time he was in town he spent $200 at Christie’s Cabaret (which let’s face it… is money well spent).  And then… it happened.

I got caught in his “drunk loop”.  You know, when you hear the same story every 12 minutes?  Yeah.  Over the next inning and a half, I heard the same story about how he went into Christie’s, ordered two beers and ended up spending $200 four or five times.  I’m a pretty social guy and I’ve got my share of experience dealing with drunks so I didn’t really mind, but eventually it was time to put an end to the drunk loop.  And there’s only one way to do it.

I told him his own story.

The Dog Head TiltI proceeded to repeat back to him his exact story.  I told him how I went to Christie’s, ordered two beers and by the end of the night ended up spending $200.  (NOTE: In case my wife is reading this… Just so we’re clear… I did NOT go to Christie’s and spend $200)  I’d heard the story enough by this point that I was able to nail every detail.  As I was telling his story I started to notice that he was really trying to process what was going on.  And finally, toward the end of the story, I got the reaction that told me the loop had been broken.

He gave me the “doggie head tilt”.  It was simply priceless to the point where I literally started laughing.  Naturally, drunk Canadian had no idea that I was laughing AT him rather than with him, and he proceeded to buy us a shot.

Gotta love Opening Day in Cleveland!

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