Facebook. It’s a social networking site. I’m not going to bother explaining it any further than that cause if you don’t know what it is, you probably won’t be able to understand the explanation. I’ve talked many times about Facebook. I’ve said some good things. I’ve said some bad things. I’ve wondered how they do some of the things that they do. Today I’m back with a couple of Facebook pet peeves. If you’re a blind defender of all things Facebook then you should probably just move on… this one could get ugly.
“Liking” Your Own Posts
STOP THAT. It makes you look like a complete douche bag. If you made a status update to your own wall, it’s safe to say that you like whatever it is you wrote. Otherwise, why in hell would you write it in the first place?!?!? Commenting on your own stuff is fine. Sometimes you don’t want to go on a big long diatribe in your status update (After all… that’s what a blog is for 😉 ). Sometimes you want to add a little bit more information about the status, photos or link you posted. No big deal. But good lord… don’t “like” it.
I took a bit of an informal poll on Twitter. It appears that I’m not the only one who dislikes the practice of self-liking. I was told by a few people that they use the “ironic like” in seldom situations, but certainly not for every post. I suppose I can get behind this but that’s an iffy use at best in my book.
One more thing about self-liking. This also extends to your company if you’re a business owner. STOP THAT. Not only does it make you look like a douche bag, but it makes you AND your company look like losers. Is there anything more pathetic than a company that posts a story, link or picture and the only one that likes or comments on it is the owner? I think not. Post your stuff, let others comment and like it. If they don’t, it’s not the end of the world. Come up with something better to post next time.
Clever / Fake Facebook Names
OK… this one is just ridiculous. Folks, the whole idea of Facebook is that you have the ability to accept or decline invitations. As such, it’s pretty silly to NOT use your real name with your Facebook profile. Sure, many people have 2 accounts: one personal (real) account and maybe one to play mind-numbing games with. But you know WHY you have that other account? It’s so your real friends don’t get bothered by all of your requests for cows, mafia members, virtual candy canes and whatever other crap you’re trying to find in your game. I’m down with that. That said, if you’re using that second account, please don’t pretend that you’re really that “persona”… it makes you look like a douche bag.
Not really sure what I’m talking about? Here’s some examples:
Chill Mascaras
Am I honestly supposed to believe that this guy’s name is “Chill”? With that picture? Come on now. I’m about the biggest wrestling fan you’ll ever meet, but you don’t see me wearing a luchador mask in my Facebook profile picture. In fact, you don’t even see me write this blog under my real name (you didn’t really think my God-given name is Chewie did you?). No… I post stuff that I write on the 406 Facebook page, and often times share it to my personal profile. But I never “like” it… see above.
Harry James Potter
Those are great movies and better books. Harry Potter is quite honestly one of the most well developed characters in modern literature. He’s been read by millions and has made the author billions. But he’s not on Facebook. Here’s a little insight… Harry Potter is a FUCKING FICTITIOUS CHARACTER. He doesn’t exist and he’s not real. Now, if by chance your names happens to be “Harry James Potter” which, let’s face it is a relatively common name… feel free to use your own picture. This is a picture of Daniel Radcliffe.
Ahsoka Tano
Sigh… I think I covered fictitious characters above but this one is a special level of asshole. Look, if you want to be clever and create a Harry Potter page good on you… at least you were the first one to think about doing it. However, if you’re going to create an Ahsoka Tano page you’re a loser. She’s a crappy character from a crappy non-Star Wars version of Star Wars. She’s one step above Jar Jar Binks and if he had a shred of dignity left in his body, George Lucas would admit she’s complete crap.
George Lucas
Speaking of plaid clad, bearded asshole named George Lucas. THIS is George Lucas. It’s not his fault that he happens to be named after a the director that gave us such classic garbage as Howard The Duck and The Phantom Menace. And you know what? This guy’s REAL. He’s got a real profile picture of him and his girl and he’s PIMP. Look at that look. You know he absolutely hates his name. He’s heard every joke about midichlorians, terrible dialog and worse directing. But he’s pimp. This is George Lucas.
Am I supposed to believe for ONE second that your real name is Chewie? NOT FOOLED!!!!
P.S. My real name is Auburn 😉
No sir… but I’m rather embarrassed by my true name… Chewington Chewerson III.
Dammit… I totally forgot about one more pet peeve that my buddy Radman brought up: “Also regarding Facebook: posting several pictures each day that you took of yourself with your phone at some weird angle, often in front of the bathroom mirror. You look the same as you did an hour earlier. Stop that as well.” <-- Good call sir.