Growing up we always had an artificial Christmas tree (my mom hated it when I called it “fake”). Part of the reason we had a fake tree was dad and I were both allergic to real ones. Each year right after Thanksgiving we’d go down in the basement and pull all the decorations out of the crawl space and within a couple of hours we’d have our home decorated for the holidays.
Now that I’ve got a family of my own decorating for the holidays has become a big deal. Not sure who gets more of a kick out of it… the boys or A. Ever since we’ve been married I’ve put aside my allergies, bit the bullet and got a live tree for the season. The wife always had a real one and I’ve got to admit that I like the smell of a fresh cut tree in the house. This year, we decided for the first time to head out to a tree farm with the boys and actually cut our Christmas tree. Sounds like a great idea in concept… in reality? Not so much.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. There’s not much my wife can’t do, but choice is her Kryptonite. With that fact in mind, you can just imagine how much fun I was having while trying to chase two toddlers through acres and acres of Christmas trees. Needless to say, it was not a quick process.
When we finally “decided” on a specific tree (15 minutes after closing and about 20 minutes after dusk), G and I went about the task of cutting this bad boy down. Or to be more specific, Super Dad went about the task and G ran off in another direction. Once I got it down (which was no easy task using the butter knife they gave me for a saw) we had to get it back to the truck. I can honestly say that the trek back through the woods dragging and carrying that damn tree was the best workout I’ve had since my swimming days. Holy SHIT was this thing heavy. With arms and legs burning from exertion, I managed to get it back to the truck and with the help of an overly cheerful chap got it on top and tied down. My arms were still shaking as we drank our hot chocolate and I began to really worry about how I was going to get the tree in the house… by myself.
Let’s talk a bit about perspective. An eight foot tree sitting in your living room looks pretty big compared to the couch, chairs, etc. A ten and a half foot tree out in a tree farm looks pretty damn small when you’ve got the sky and other tall trees around it. Take said tree and try to get it into the house, you and realize just why Super Dad was having so many problems. Yep. We got ourselves a 10 1/2 foot tree. We’re lucky that we have vaulted ceilings in the living room or I would have needed to get the chainsaw out to make it fit.
It looks damn beautiful now that it’s decorated but next year I think I’ll pass on the tree farm experience. Lowe’s and Home Depot do a great job of tying up those tress for you. As for the title of this post, if you’ve never seen Christmas Vacation you absolutely need to. Below is a clip of Clark Grizwold picking HIS family Christmas tree… enjoy!