Open Bar #WeddingTweets

Whiskey - Jack On The Rocks With OlivesWent to a wedding of a family friend the other night.  I (for all intents and purposes) live tweeted the event and got some pretty positive feedback.  I’m always leery of how long Twitter will keep history like this so I’m archiving it here on the site.  Oh yeah… I also thought some of the tweets (which I’d completely forgotten… you’ll know when when you start reading) were pretty funny if I do say so myself.

Without further build up… here they are!

  • Note: receiving lines at weddings suck balls.
  • Dear Open Bar… I’m coming for you. Get ready.
  • Jack, ice, olives… Perfection.
  • Wedding note: anything on a stick wrapped in bacon is good.
  • Party Rock as the bride and groom come in. Not a good omen for my listening pleasure tonight.
  • Speech #2 by maid of honor. How many more?
  • Hit Me With Your Best Shot during cake cutting. Someone’s getting a face full. TWSS.
  • It’s called “open bar”. Not “closed during dinner bar”. Fuck you. Luckily this isn’t my first rodeo. I loaded up.
  • Switching to wine for dinner. Don’t worry whiskey… I’ll be back.
  • Stop… Whiskey time.
  • Polka music.

The Wedding MeatstickAfter the polka, I needed to take a break from the dance floor for a few minutes.  Naturally, I headed to the bar for a refill.

  • Dear woman in the black dress that shows your cooch. It’s not appropriate for a wedding.
    See you at the strip club.
  • Switching to Bud Light. Time to sober up-ish.
  • When the band includes someone with a whistle it’s never a good sign.
  • FUCKING guy just sang Party Rock. FML.
  • Tight polo shirt at wedding = ultimate meat stick
  • Really? Dirty dancing on the wedding dance floor?
  • I’m at a wedding. When did the strippers show up?
  • Oh you’ve got earrings that make your ears fucking huge? What tribe are you in?
  • Its fucking go time. AC/DC – You Shook Me
  • I’m redefining “whiskey dick” this evening. Wife will be thrilled.
  • Line dance time. FML.
  • It’s shocking how many strip club songs they’re playing. Maybe I spend too much time there. Nah. That’s crazy talk.
  • It’s 11. The first groomsmen has just ripped off his tux shirt and is down to a white tshirt. #winning
  • We’ve arrived at Adele.
  • The cool young kinds are leaving to go out. I’m still here. FML.
  • I wish I had boobs to shoot fireworks out of.#Fireworks #KatyPerry
  • Journey #winning
  • Final #WeddingTweet of the night. Kids are at grandma & grandpa’s. Bow chicka bow wow. #winning

And in case you’re interested, here are some of the responses I got.  Love my followers!!!

  • @SansPantsGirl – wedding tweets!
  • @JimmyKeeper  my cousin had a keg during dinner buffet. Awesome wedding, I almost banged a chick that night.
  • @JimmyKeeper  …but she was my cousin.
  • @ImOnTheBoard “Once it hits your lips, it’s so good!”
  • @MollieK Can you go to weddings every weekend because your play by play is cracking me the fuck up.
  • @adnek @masongoodman are you & @406Northlane @ the same wedding? If so, he’s got it covered! #weddingtweets?
  • @THEonlymeiknow You DID concussion test the groom before he walked down the aisle right? #BroTweet?
  • @SansPantsGirl I’ve been loling at all these tweets!
  • @incredibleEG  when I get married, you are coming to my reception. And i want to publish your timeline. Not even joking.

This was fun… for sure.  Have you live tweeted an event like this?  Would love to hear about it!

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