Things I Learned This Weekend

Frozen Lobster TailsI’m sure everyone out there on the Interweb loves to read about my crap. I had a couple of interesting/funny things happen this past weekend… enjoy!

  • A smoothie, when spilled by a two and a half year old, will splatter all over the floor, table, walls & windows.  When said smoothie is mopped up it will leave a stick residue on the floor until you clean it thoroughly.  You cannot simply wipe it up but the floor needs to be mopped completely.  The child that spilled the smoothie will pick THIS time to imitate his parents by blurting out, “Holy CRAP”.  At the same time you’ll be pissed at the child and trying not to laugh at his assessment of the situation.
  • Lobster tail that costs $24.99 per pound when frozen does not in fact take only 5 to 7 minutes to steam like it says on the Internet.  Unfortunately I don’t know exactly how long it takes to steam because ours was part too done and part raw.  By the time we got done with it ours was closer to rubber than it was to lobster.  It didn’t matter though because I was with my valentine on Valentine’s Day.
  • A two and half year old boy will find the most dangerous activity presented to him and then do that… over and over again.  He will scream bloody murder if you try and stop him.  I believe this to be universal but have not yet confirmed.
  • My wife and I love the show Top Chef… we are not qualified to even WATCH this show but we do anyway (see lobster tail bullet above).
  • Neighborhood children will completely ignore the “please do not ring bell” sign posted on the front door… especially when both the boys are napping.  The dog notices this most of all.
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