Sometimes, You Just Have To Respond To Your SPAM

You've Got SPAMIf you’re like me you get an absolutely boatload of SPAM emails on a daily basis.  Naturally, the best way to combat this is to ignore it or to report it to your email provider and let them deal with it.

I’ve never been one to “go with the flow” and from time to time I get an email that really rubs me the wrong way (no, I’m not talking about porn emails…)  So yesterday I had my marketing hat on and ran across THIS email that I felt compelled to not only not ignore, but to respond to:

SUBJECT: Maximize Traffic to your website:

FROM: Robin Miller <>

Hi  Team,

Hope you are doing fine.

I thought you might like to know some of the reasons why you are not getting enough organic traffic & most often you stick to Ad words to get more traffic which is quite expensive and the chances is high of getting a spam traffic as well.

Let me tell you that your website still does not organically rank on major search engine’s first page for most of the popular keywords, which means people searching for your products are not able to find your website and you are losing traffic.

Some of the major factors which can be overcome for your website to rank well in SERP organically and increase your social media presence are:

  1. Seems like your website carries a lot of technical errors which prevents search engine to crawl and index your website properly.
  2. Your website needs a proper keyword selection and optimization.
  3. Your website is not well furnished with enough quality and theme based back links.
  4. Your website should be more inclined towards Social media promotion and a regular updates in major social networks.
  5. Missing quality web and promotion contents (Article, Blogs etc.) which is preventing your website to gain more authority and ranking in Web Market.

Our solution to your website problems:

  1. Fix all the technical errors of your website to make it Search Engine friendly.
  2. Choose best keywords (traffic generating keywords) for your website.
  3. Build quality links for your website to get more authority in SERPs.
  4. Promote your website in major social media networks to generate more fan following.
  5. Increase in traffic (with Google Analytics Proof)

P.S: – This is our marketing strategy to use a Gmail account. Once you reply us back, we will communicate with you through our corporate Email ID.

Let me know your thoughts and looking forward to work together.

Best Regards,
Robin Miller

SEO and SMO Advisor

OK…. there are clearly quite a few problems with this email ranging from mildly irritating to downright face palm stupidity.


Thanks for your note Robin.

A bit of advice: your corporate strategy to use gmail is hurting you. It makes your services sound very spammy.

Just two cents from a fellow marketer.


Guy Screaming At Computer
This May Have Been Me Reading This Email

After some thought, I figured this email was too stupid for Miss Robin (feel free to send her emails of praise) to get off quite that easily.  I figured I’d craft a more appropriate response now:

Thank you Robin… I AM doing fine!!! Thanks for doing the research and figuring out who you’re sending this email to.  After all, there IS after all a pretty large “team” here at 406.  Me, myself and I.

You reference the fact that there are some reasons I’m not getting enough organic traffic and that I often stick to Ad words to get traffic.  Well… In your exhaustive research where you came up with “team” you should have found out the site you’re referring to is my personal blog.  As such, I’m not REALLY all that concerned with organic traffic.  And I’ve never spent a dime on Ad Words. 

You then go on to rattle off several “major factors” which you can help me overcome.  Thank you!!! Unfortunately, these factors aren’t valid for this site, nor are they accurate.  You say my site “should be more inclined towards social media promotion”.  Um… social media is pretty much the ONLY reason people come to this site. And I’ve got upwards of 20,000 tweets.  Is this not “regular” enough?

Your “solutions” to my website “problems” look good, though I’m not sure they’re accurate.  And please note that you’re #5 on the list “Increase in traffic (with Google Analytics Proof)” isn’t really a solution.  An increase in traffic is something that could (potentially) show value in your work… it’s not your work.  Oh yeah… you seem to have overlooked that Google Analytics is already on my site.

And as I said in my original note, your “marketing strategy” to use a Gmail account makes you look like a hack.  As does the fact that no where in your email do you tell me the name of your company.  I figured you’d know these things being a “SEO and SMO Advisor” but perhaps not.

Thanks for your time,

Part of the “team” at 406northlane and Blogging Overlord

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